when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
