can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
