did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
