I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
