fuck your aforementioned shoe
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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