I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
