I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
