summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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