I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
