Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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