Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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