you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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