no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
