I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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