Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
