Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
