think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He felt like a one man threesome
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
