I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize