I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
