Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
