HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
