My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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