I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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