omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
