How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
