just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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