my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
