He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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