OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
