Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My dick has a subreddit
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
