flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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