Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
