Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
we're so committed to being not committed
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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