just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
