You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
pop tarts are not kleenex
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
