I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
