Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
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