my soul wont recognize me after tonight
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
