So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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