No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
