he told me I talked like a deaf person
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
