what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
