Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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