so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
that is very illegal...i love you.
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