Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
