gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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