We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
not ubering you a puppy
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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