ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
