Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
His nipple licking is glorious
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
