I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
