May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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