We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
