If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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