New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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