Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
